My Happy Saturday Surprise was a completely different surprise than I had expected.
On Friday, I posted a “tease” that I had something exciting coming on Saturday. All week long I had anticipated the posting of my first guest blog article on Allume. All week I’d waited and I could finally let the cat out of the bag.
I teased, I released the info, and I waited.
And waited, and waited, and waited.
No lie, I probably checked the site twenty-five times (or more) yesterday. I felt like a moron. I’d announced the guest-post to my gigantic (haha) following and now there was nothing. Nada. Hundreds of panicked fan letters flew in over my missing article.
Alright, tiny truth fabrication, it was four letters (and not so much panicking.)
No one panicked. Other than me, and maybe my sweetly-protective husband. I spent the day convincing myself not to panic and praying for humility and grace to understand my disappointment.
I prayed for the girls in charge of posting, “Had something happened to prevent it posting? Are they alright? Lord, I pray for them in whatever is going on in their lives today!” I tried to comfort myself with “unselfish” thinking.
I’d go about an hour being calm and levelheaded, spend about five minutes going to the “yuck” place and feeling down again, then back to solid foundation of reality:
"No one cares about a missing post except you, Lindsey."
It still amazes me that I can beg the Lord for humility and then one silly little misfire on my blog can get me in a spiritual tizzy.
In my scripture reading yesterday morning, I happened to be in John 7. How providential for the day I was about to face:
“The one who speaks on his own authority seeks his own glory; but the one who seeks the glory of him who sent him is true, and in him there is no falsehood.” John 7:18
I wrestled with this verse. Had I been rejoicing in my own glory? Honestly, there was probably a little bit of that. I’m a sinful girl. I still struggle against my flesh.
Surprise! I serve a God who is more concerned about his own glory than mine.
If in the mix of writing for God's glory and also enjoying success, a little pride wells up, he is faithful to oppose it. He gracefully smacks it down and covers it up with a little gospel-goo-be-gone and a little more of my brokenness is made new. (1 Peter 5:5-6)
If God wants my little article to be consumed by eyes other than mine, He will make it happen is His time, for His glory.
And apparently, He might still allow that to happen. He’s just delayed it until August 4th. Until then, I’ll keep you posted!